October 2007

Parenting Classes

This month we started parenting classes. We are learning many things, such as cave-man speak. Apparently I blabber too much to the kids and all of the words confuse them, so now instead of "please take your pajamas off and get dressed so we can go eat breakfst" I say "pajamas.....shirt". It seems to be working, on the kids and Rob. I am looking for the magic one-word phrase that captures the essence of "please put all of your toys away".

Holy Water

The middle of the month we went out to Rob's parents' to get James baptised at his mother's church. At the beginning of the service is the children's sermon and we took both boys up. All of the other kids sat quietly on the floor about 5 feet from the Reverand. Not Andrew; he stood about 6 inches from the Reverand and ate his little baggie of GoldFish for the 5 minutes the sermon lasted. Then towards the end, Andrew lets out the World's longest gold fish fart. Luckily it was not too loud, but I certainly could hear it (and smell it).....and the little girl with her nose to Andrew's butt made note of it for others in case they missed it. Luckily, Jesus is forgiving.

James did very well, although he was fascinated by the Reverand's beard and kept trying to grab for it while he held him at the baptismal font. Andrew on the other hand just wanted to play splashy splashy. After the service we returned to Rob's parents' for a picnic and some Sunday vacuuming.

Chow Time

James is now moving on to self-feeding, otherwise known as face painting with oatmeal. Luckily the nice folks at daycare are also working with him so we have some help. After the parenting class they said we should 'empower' our children; We are letting Andrew pour his own cereal and milk (with a bit of assistance). One day the Cheerios let loose and he exclaimed "MESS!". But he's been doing well, and I have even been giving him the normal ceramic bowl we use, and he has not broken one yet, although he likes to bang the spoon and our table is now Distressed Formica-- the latest style.

Andrew often dawdles at breakfast and I need something to motivate him to finish up and put his bowl in the dishwasher. Andrew is not a normal child. One day I offered him his 1/2 teaspoon of fish oil (omega 3 for big brains) and he came running over to gulp it down. As if that was not weird enough, the next day I lured him with a snack bag of prunes to which he declared "PUUUUUUUNES", gobbled down breakfast and came to retrieve his treat. Luckily this was on a daycare day, as the prunes deliver 4 - 6 hours later.

We have also been letting Andrew retrieve the milk jug from the fridge himself. Oddly he calls it Muck, which is that I called it for quite a long time as a kid. One evening he pulled out the milk jug and it was almost empty. He shook it and then looked at me as if to say 'Can I drink from the jug?". I figured he might as well, since he will be doing it anyway in a couple years. He slowly lifted it to his mouth like it was a cup, but nothing was coming out. So he threw his head back and tried to chug it, resulting in a milk shower. Note to self: Milky clothes can not sit in the laundry basket for a week.

Halloween

Someone gave us these cool glasses at Halloween. Andrew calls them EYEBALLS. He put them on one night and announced to me "I do'ed it". I tried to correct his grammar, but he just looked at me and proudly said "Andrew do'ed it".

The kids dressed up as a Referee (actually he was the neighbor, who ref's on the weekends) and a furry green thing, or a soccer field. I bought a really cool Boo! balloon at Wal-Mart to tie to the stroller, but Andrew chose to liberate it on the 3rd house. So the rest of the night all I heard was "Bye Bye Balloon". James was the lazy man's trick or treater; He sat in the front seat of the stroller all night while I made Andrew climb in and out at every house. Sometimes Andrew was a bit adventurous and would bolt past the front door of a stranger's house; He surprised one guy who was sitting in the family room putting together a computer while his wife tended to the door.

We chose not to partake in the time honored tradition of pumpkin carving. Instead we went with the new-age traditon of slapping stickers on the pumpkin, topped off by hugging the pumpkin. In Kazakhstan if you hug a birch tree they say it gives you energy. i am not sure what hugging a pumpkin offers. Stickers are a lot more forgiving than sharp objects and gooey insides.

Here's Andrew and James as the furry green monster, a year apart.

Winter is upon us and so comes the new batch of embarassing winter clothing. No, he's doing his super-model-distant-look-pose, there was a tractor trailer unloading wood from Home Depot at the end of the street and he froze mid-step while mailing a letter.

Another stellar month of bizarre art work. This month James checks in with his first offering with Sticker Art.

Top 10 Things We Thought We'd Never Say

10. Don't lick the book

9. Please don't step on your brother's face

8. Is that a shoe in the toilet?

7. Don't stick the toothbrush up your nose.

6. Did that smell come from you?

5. Yes, you can sleep with the chicken tonight.

4. Put the broom down.

3. Put the vacum down.

2. How did the oatmeal get on the ceiling?

1. Get your tongue out of your brother's ear, please.

A year has gone by and Andrew sure how grown. Andrew 1 year ago and this year

The many faces of James